Let’s talk about one of the narcissist’s most insidious tools of control your past.
Not their past. Not their behavior. Just yours.
They take your old wounds, your regrets, your lowest moments, and twist them into shackles to keep you bound to their version of the story. They’ll smile as they do it, too like they’re doing you a favor by “reminding” you of all the things you’ve done wrong.
But here’s the thing most people miss:
A narcissist doesn’t bring up your past to heal it.
They bring it up to own you.
They’re not holding a mirror, they’re holding a leash.
🔥 Here’s how it works:
Let’s say you lost your temper once during an argument five years ago. Maybe you said something you regretted. You owned it. You apologized. You changed.
But to a narcissist, that moment becomes your life sentence.
No matter how much time has passed or how deeply you’ve evolved, they will drag that one moment back into the present, dressed up as “concern” or “truth” or “proof of your abusive nature.”
It becomes their go-to evidence that you are unstable, abusive, selfish, or untrustworthy conveniently deflecting attention away from their own patterns of betrayal, manipulation, or neglect.
They use your healing journey against you.
They hijack your accountability and call it proof of pathology.
They don’t want resolution.
They want control.
And shame is their favorite choke collar.
🧠Here’s what they count on:
- That you’re a good person who reflects, regrets, and repairs.
- That you want to grow and be seen as someone who’s changed.
- That you’ll try to explain, apologize, or overcompensate every time they bring it up.
- That you’ll abandon your own boundaries just to prove you’re not who they say you are.
Sound familiar?
That’s not healthy conflict. That’s emotional blackmail.
They don’t weaponize your past because it’s relevant.
They weaponize it because it works.
Because if they can keep you frozen in guilt, they never have to face their own reflection.
💡 So let’s be clear:
You are allowed to have a past.
You are allowed to have made mistakes.
You are allowed to grow, to transform, to do the deep inner work without someone dragging your past like a corpse through your present just to gaslight your worth.
You are not your worst day.
You are not their distorted version of your story.
You are not beholden to someone who only brings up your past to avoid accountability for their present.
🛑 Here’s what freedom looks like:
- Calling it out when someone uses your history as a tool of control.
- Recognizing that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting it means releasing yourself.
- Refusing to shrink your truth to fit their false narrative.
- Walking away from anyone who needs you to stay small so they can feel powerful.
You’re not here to be someone’s scapegoat.
You’re not here to carry their projections.
You’re here to evolve.
Let them stay stuck in the past if they want to.
You’ve got a future to build and you’re not taking their shame script with you.
đź–¤ Ready to break the cycle and reclaim your truth?
If you’re done letting someone else rewrite your story and you’re ready to step into a life where you hold the pen, it’s time to shift the frequency.
Manifest the QHE Way is more than a manifestation course it’s a trauma-informed energetic reset designed for survivors of narcissistic abuse. You’ll learn how to release shame, rewrite your internal narrative, and align with a reality that honors your healing, your power, and your voice.
Because you’re not here to be controlled.
You’re here to rise.
✨ Enroll now and change the vibration- change the universe. ✨
Change the vibration, change the universe ✨️
– MJ